"Sissy Religious Left" Forms Clergy Leadership Network

Nov 25 2003 by Ross Bender

Left-wing religious leaders announced this week the formation of the Clergy Leadership Network, a political advocacy organization designed to counteract the right-wing religious death grip on American politics, the Pentagon, and the YMCA.

The founding committee, which includes ex-CIA agent William Sloane Coffin and openly gay Episcopal Bishop Gene Robinson, stated it hoped, through a program of "dialogue, understanding and hot-dish potluck dinners," to present a more liberal understanding of politics and religion to the American people.

Leaders of right wing Christian groups, including the Family Research Council, which owns the George Bush family, the Christian Coalition, and the Traditional Values Coalition, which owns the Clear Channel radio conglomerate, laughed themselves silly at the idea. Tony Perkins (no relation to the late actor), President of the Family Research Council, said he "got a mighty good chuckle" at the attempts of "namby-pamby sissy-boy liberal religionists trying to break our iron hold on the reins of religious power and influence in this country. That dawg won't hunt. We got Dubya in our back pocket and Rummy in a tote sack. Haw haw haw!"

Televangelist Pat Robertson, still under investigation by the FBI for his threat to blow up the State Department, commented from his cell at Camp X-Ray: "Lord, in your power, give them all the AIDS, Lord! Grant that their lying lib'ral tongues would turn black and fall off, hallelujah! Holy Jesus, choke them in their own vomit, Lord, and give them the bleeding ulcers, yes Jesus!" Robertson, considered a moderate right wing loony, is scheduled to be released next week, when he will rejoin Rush Limbaugh as a commentator on Negro football on ESPN.

Sloane Coffin, heir of the New York Sloane furniture fortune and former chaplain at Yale, said in an interview, "We want to bring a little sweetness and light to the increasingly polarized religious and political debate in this country. So we're going to start with a series of potluck dinners where we'll discuss, in a civilized way, the issues confronting this nation." Gay Bishop Robinson added he was looking forward to turning the other cheek.

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