Cheney, Scalia, Ducks in Louisiana Love Tryst

Feb 12 2004 by Ross Bender

Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia is facing demands from Democratic Senators, the Sierra Club and PETA that he recuse himself from an upcoming Supreme Court case in which Vice President Cheney is a defendant. The demands arise from a recent trip in which Scalia and Cheney, reportedly "old friends," hunted ducks and "socialized" at the Louisiana hunting camp of Wallace Carline, a multimillionaire oil tycoon.

Residents of rural Gotchomama Parish in southwest Louisiana reported that on the night of January 5, Air Force Two touched down on a dirt landing strip, and a motorcade escorted by Blackhawk helicopters and F-15 fighter jets wended its way to Carline's palatial hunting camp. "It was real sumpin'," stated local inhabitant "Hoodoo" Legree. "They be 'bout twenny-two armored pickup trucks, coupla Hummers and a Bradley fightin' vehicle. Tore up the damn road. Then, for 'bout two days and nights they was whole lotta squawkin' and bangin' going on. Din't sound like no duck hunt to me. Sound like they was ducks and ole men squealin' in eks-stas-y."

Since the case before the Supreme Court is to be tried in April, some legal experts believe it was inappropriate for Justice Scalia to be "socializing" with the defendant. Recusal is a legal procedure in which the judge states: "Recuse me, I have to go to the bathroom." The Justice then remains in the bathroom throughout the case, letting the other Justices decide the issue.

Antonin Scalia was appointed to the Court by Ronald Reagan in 1982, and participated in the elevation of George W. Bush to the Presidency in the disputed election of 2000. Last November, he wrote a fervent dissent in the case which overturned sodomy laws in Texas. In his dissent Scalia wrote: "Let me be clear that I have nothing against homosexuals; in fact some of my best friends are homosexuals. Fundamentally, however, these matters should reside in the closet."

Vice President Cheney stated only that he and Scalia were on a mission to find WMDs. However, PETA has charged that underage ducks were involved in a two day orgy.


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