Bush, Blair Compare Dental Records, Virile Members

Apr 19 2004 by Ross Bender

British Prime Minister Tony Blair visited Washington this week to congratulate President Bush on the success of the Big Fat War in Iraq and to compare teeth and packets.

The President released his dental records earlier this year to demonstrate that he had perhaps indeed served in the National Guard somewhere in the deep South during the Vietnam War. He urged Blair to share his own dental records with the English people, to defuse the mild irritation some elements of British society feel about the failure to discover weapons of mass destruction.

Both leaders of the Free World posed with broad smiles in the White House and President Bush acknowledged that Blair actually had somewhat shinier teeth and "better incisors." Both leaders agreed, however, that the President had the larger penis.

"We will do what it takes to win this struggle," said Blair. "We will not yield. We will fight them on the beaches, we will fight them in the hills, we will fight them in our skivvies, we will fight them in our shorts."

However, both leaders agreed that it was finally time for the United Nations to step in and take its fair share of responsibility for peacekeeping in Iraq.

In a news conference, the President stated: "Last year, Tony and I agreed on this. Look, I says, Tony, it's not fair to make the United of Nations share the awful burden of bringin' freedom and democracy to the Middle of East. But now, after I declared 'Mission Accomplished,' I think we orter bring our boys and gals home and let the Danishes and Bulgarians finish the job. Whadda you say, Terry?"

"Oh, correcto, my liege," replied the Prime Minister.

"The Almighty wills it, and that's all she wrote," continued Bush. "So today I am commanding Coffee Nana to take over. I know Donny will be disappoin'ed, but maybe we kin find another little war fer him somewheres, maybe down Mexico way."

The leaders declined to take questions, saying they had an important croquet game with Prime Minister Sharon of Israel in the Rose Garden.

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