Teresa Heinz Kerry Tells "Dick" Cheney: "Sit on My Face!"

Aug 9 2004 by Ross Bender

Teresa Heinz Kerry, in a new outburst, told Vice President "Dick" Cheney to "Sit on my face!" in a chance encounter on New York's Third Avenue last night.

Cheney was coming from a fitting at Pookie, Sebastian and Halliburton, the upscale couturier on New York City's Upper East Side when the wife of Democratic Presidential candidate John Kerry sighted him on the sidewalk and began pouring contempt on the portly Vice President.

The feisty wannabe first lady also reportedly told Cheney to "Stick it where the moon don't shine, fatso!" and to "Get stuffed."

Cheney, in town ahead of the Republican National Convention slated for the end of the month, was apparently taken aback at Ms. Kerry's outspoken jibes, and could only offer a weak "So's your mother!" as the glamorous Democratic candidate's wife stepped into a waiting limousine. Bystanders egged on the Vice President, hoping for a repeat of Cheney's feisty "Go f--- yourself!" delivered to Senator Leahy of Vermont on the Senate floor over a month ago.

Ms. Kerry, who recently told a reporter for the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review to "shove it," is gaining a reputation as a hot and spicy Latin babe. Born to Portuguese parents in Mozambique, the outspoken red hot mama does not reserve her high-spirited critiques for Republican candidates.

During the Democratic primary campaign, she publicly told Howard Dean to "Eat me!" and suggested to Al Sharpton that he get a wig. She frequently ribs Senator Kerry about his long jaw and skinny physique, telling him in front of reporters that he needs to "put on some weight and hold off on the Botox."

Heinz Kerry in fact has a long history of confrontational encounters with public figures. In 1987, as Co-Chair of the Congressional Wives for Soviet Jewry, she challenged Raisa Gorbachev to "Let my people go!" Ms. Gorbachev responded "F--- off, bubela!" at which Ms. Kerry, then Ms. Heinz, challenged the Russian first lady to an arm-wrestling match.

Sports commentators and bookies are looking forward to the Presidential Candidate's Wives debates this fall.

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