North Korea Bombs Fukuoka, Tokyo Disneyland

Feb 16 2005 by Ross Bender

In what was apparently a test of its new weapons capability, North Korea yesterday devastated Fukuoka and Tokyo Disneyland with nuclear bombs. Japan immediately responded by cutting off all diplomatic relations with the hermit state.

North Korean Dictator and Dear Leader Kim Jong Il denied that the rocket strikes had been a mistake.

"I meant to do that," he told stunned reporters in Pyongyang.

Diplomats in the US State Department speculated that Kim's actions might put a halt to the ongoing Six Party Talks concerning North Korea's nuclear armaments. Up to this point, it had not been entirely clear whether or not the North actually possessed such weapons or the missile capacity to deliver them.

US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, in Seoul for talks with South Korea's Defense Minister, Wang Yang Ming, dismissed speculation that the attacks had been aimed at her personally but stated:

"In light of the bombings, we now consider North Korea not only part of the Axis of Evil, an outpost of tyranny, and a rogue state, but also really really stupid and awful."

Rice said that the US was considering countermeasures, including carpetbombing Pyongyang with B-52s and cutting off all financial aid to the beleaguered country. She also warned that the US possesses candid photos of Kim Jong Il "in really embarrassing poses, including the one with the rubber suit and the three rabbits" and would not hesitate to publish them on the Internet in the event of further provocations.

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