President Bush Has "Secret Plan" to Erase Budget Deficit

Sep 17 2003 by Ross Bender

White House Budget Director Joshua Bolten today announced that President Bush had a "plan" to combat the soaring budget deficit, projected to reach 2.6 gazillion dollars by the year 2013.

"We are confident and we have a plan, which in fact is a combination of secret plans which we aren't revealing yet to the stupid Democratic opposition and the American people. If folks would just get off our backs and let the free-market economy work its voodoo magic, things would be just OK."

Details of the plan have been leaked to the press, and already stupid Democrats are raising hell. "Part of the plan involves building schools and hospitals in Iraq rather than rebuilding crumbling schools and health services in America," said stupid Democratic presidential contender Howard Dean. "And that ain't right," chimed in stupid Democratic presidential contender Al Sharpton.

Part of the concern about the secret plan is the effect not only on the baby boomers' vanishing retirement funds, but also on the Bush plan to have the baby boomers' grandchildren pay the burden of the administration's dizzying budget deficits. Budget projections now show that if Bush tax cuts for the wealthy and deficit spending continue, the great-grandchildren of the baby-boomers will bear the cost, and their great-great grandchildren will be reduced to abject slavery.

"We have a plan and we are confident," announced President Bush, who last week asked Congress for an additional $87 billion to fund the ongoing war in Iraq. "Basically the American peoples' great-great grandchillun's gone be alright. They be plenty of jobs shining shoes for the Bush family's great-great grandchillun."

The Congressional Budget Office released projections showing that unemployment figures would show some improvement in the year 2174, when the great-great grandchillun of the Bush dynasty and his wealthy friends would be needing more shoeshine boys, kitchen help and domestic servants.

"I can't tell you all of this now, but just a word to the wise -- as long as the RIAA keeps busting 12-year-old girls and we keep building more prisons, the birth rate is definitely going to go down," Bolten said.

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