Downing Street Memo a Fake, Says Eminent Grammarian

Jun 27 2005 by Ross Bender

The secret Downing Street Memo, purportedly showing that the Bush Administration deceived the American people about reasons for going to war in Iraq, is a fake, the Official White House Propaganda Channel announced today.

In an exclusive interview with Fox News, Joffrey Ramsbottom, Professor Emeritus of Neurolinguistics and Glottopsychiatry at Hors D'Oeuvre State University in Gotchomama Parish, just outside New Orleans, explained that the "DSM" is an obvious fraud.

"The so-called 'secret memo' was actually typed on a 1968 vintage Remington portable typewriter by a team of twelve Rhesus monkeys. We did a series of demanding computer tests, ran it through the particle accelerator and the cyclotron, and it came up literally screaming 'fake'."

Obtained and published on May 1 by the Sunday Times of London, the Downing Street Memo was authored by MI6 agent Rycroft Holmes and distributed to top secret British intelligence officials. Dated July 23, 2002, and copied to the British Defence Minister, Foreign Minister, Attorney General, and Sally Morgan, it allegedly shows that the Bush White House was already planning to invade Iraq using fraudulent evidence of nonexistent Weapons of Mass Destruction. It also hints that George and Laura Bush and the British Prime Minister and his wife had engaged in skinny-dipping and wife-swapping in the Thames River earlier that month.

"I can't comment on the wife-swapping bit, but the stuff about WMDs is absolutely false," concluded Dr. Ramsbottom.

In addition to having edited the recent definitive 38-volume English Grammar for Dummies, Ramsbottom is also the author of Wine and Spam: A Provencal Cookbook.

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