Latest Plamegate Bombshell: Woodward Under the Bed at St. Regis Hotel



Nov 17 2005 by Ross Bender

In the latest episode of the continuing Plamegate reality TV series, ace reporter Bob Woodward was questioned under oath this week by Super-Agent Patrick Fitzgerald. Woodward also apologized to his part-time employer, The Washington Post , for not informing them that he was told several years ago, by the Leaking Leaker himself, that Valerie Plame worked for the CIA.

The neocon groupie and White House suck-up offered to chop off the first joint of his left pinkie to atone for his journalistic boo-boo. "I really should have told my editor sooner," he mused in the Post .

Woodward, who has publicly derided the investigation of Super-Agent Patrick Fitzgerald and labeled him a "junkyard dog," revealed the extent of his own involvement in the case in a dramatic page-one story in The Washington Post .

"I followed Judy and 'Scooter' to the St. Regis Hotel. Judy was putting away the margaritas like there was no tomorrow.

"Afterward they took the elevator up to one of the luxury suites. I slipped the bellboy a Benjamin to let me into the room. They didn't even notice me as I scooted under the bed. They had the Ramones on the stereo at full blast and Scooter was ripping her stockings.

"Weird thing was, when I made it under the bed, there was already a whole mob there. I couldn't make out their identities in the dark, but it definitely wasn't Karl Rove or Colin Powell. Mighta been Cheney, but hell, it was so damn dark and crowded that I just couldn't swear to who it actually was. But whoever it was put their lips to my ear and whispered, 'Valerie Plame works for the CIA.' I jotted it down in my notebook, but resolved to keep it secret. Didn't want anything out there that was gonna get me subpoenaed."

The White House has released a statement denying that Woodward's source was President Bush, Andy Card, Dan Bartlett, Colin Powell, George Tenet, or John McLaughlin, but hinting that "it mighta been Cheney." Otherwise, Scott McClellan refused to comment, saying "the case is still under investigation."



Ross Bender's Deadbrains

www.deadbrain.com

Ross Bender, Crazy Mennonite