Samurai Rocking Chair

This here rocker was carved from a single cryptomeria tree by my samurai Amish granddaddy. He was a lifelong pacifist, but he always told me "Son, when they come for yer womenfolk, you wanna know how to handle yer blade." I remember when I warn't but knee-high to a grasshopper, he'd take me out in the back forty and teach me to slice the ears off of peasants.